Movies That Really Should Have Been About Pie

Straight up, I had a weird week. I’ll spare you the details, but it involved an insane stomach virus and screaming at people. And let me tell you, when you’re floating between nausea, anti-nausea medication comas, and  setting things right in the world with verbal truth poundings… your brain goes to some strange places. I assume in an attempt to find a happy safe place.

I was in one of those places when I text Sarah to tell her that if the best movie in the history of cinema and the best dessert in the history of all things had a baby… It would be called Pietanic. So in typical dork-ass fashion, we spouted off  pie-movie mash-up puns for a good 5 to 7 minutes. And we realized… pie in picture shows just makes sense.

So Sarah did this. Because Sarah knows that you can make anything better with Photoshop.

Here’s what a few movie classic movie posters could have looked like if Hollywood had their pie-orities straight. Enjoy.


Spy love is good… pie love is better.


I bet homeboy in the crows nest would have seen that iceberg coming up a lot sooner if he was well-fueled with a steaming hunk of pie and actually on his look-out A-game. Oh well, sorry Jack, we’ll never let go.




Stuck on a boat with a giant tiger. < Stuck on a boat with a giant pie.



Sorry, every conflict any iteration of Bond came up against could have been effectively negotiated with pie.




Little boys wouldn’t be trying to eat each other if they had some damn pie.


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